SAD

today was going quite fine. Woke up, ate, finish my discussion question, finish my accounting homework. Now it is 8:30 pm. 30 minutes ago the Oscars started and I've been wanting to watch it since yesterday. I did not watch tv all day but tried to finish whatever assignment I was left with. Comes the Oscars and my FATHER apparently isn't watching any of his chinese series so I ask him to turn to the channel I wanted. HE goes, "what are you doing? You have the computer and your doing hw( I have a txt book out) and now you want to watch the tv? YOU WON"T GET ANYTHING DONE" I simply ignore him and just said turn the channel. He got so mad and shut of the channels and decided to watch his chinese series on the DVD. He said this in chinese " I always give it your way, We (mom and dad) work all day, cook and clean, I just want my own time". EXCUSE ME!? Just before, ever since the afternoon, all he had watch was his fucking series.

Now I just have to let this all out. This life I am living now is not what I ASK for. Every time I think of it, I cry because to me, this is very unfair. IF they want to complain how hard they are working for us they should have never made the decision to ever come here and once they do they should DO EVERYTHING that can possible can to make it more easier for the FAMILY. PLAN AHEAD! DO NOT GO DRIVING ON THE ROAD KNOWING THERE IS A DEAD END. I RATHER THEM DRIVE TO THE END AND HAVE US ALL KILL IF I KNEW THE LIFE THAT WAS AHEAD OF US! I want to be like everyone else but I can't and I don't know WHEN I can. They always say " all i want is for you to be good in school and graduate from college" OK then fucking mean that! I'm doing what I'm doing ! IM IN FUCKING COLLEGE and you know what ?!?! I GOT A 4.0 GPA LAST SEMESTER! what did my dad say ? " really ? thats good!" THEN he just goes off asking my brother how he is doing and if he is getting straight As like me. MY BROTHER ALWAYS CUT SCHOOL and doesn't even have C average in HS!! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? He treats my brother BETTER THAN ME! whenever he comes home late, he doesn't get really mad or yell loudly! He always goes out with his friends to play basketball and shit, BUT WHAT DO I GET ? why are you out so late!! Why you always go out! and recently all i get is thats good! in regards to my GPA! WHAT THE FUCK ! TALK ABOUT FATHERS WHO LIKE SONS MORE THAN DAUGHTERS! TONIGHT just got even more piss. ALWAYS saying how he gives in to my ways. SHUT THE FUCK UP OK!

ALL I WANT NOW IS TO MOVE TO EUROPE AWAY FROM THEM WITHOUT THEM HAVING TO NAG AND GET ME UPSET AND JUST LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND!

IM turning 21 in 4 months and I don't even know what to think. ALL I DO NOW IS IGNORE THEM. WHY ? BECAUSE TEHRE IS NO POINT IN LETTING KNOW WHAT I THINK! THEY WONT UNDERSTAND! THEY ONLY THINK THEY ARE THE RIGHT ONES JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE OLDER AND HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT TO UNDERSTAND HOW LIFE IS. THAT IS BULLSHIT!

I DONT KNOW WHY I WAS BORN IN THIS WORLD!